A perfect example of an involvement shield is the organization’s program. Whether it’s a church bulletin, speaker outline, announcement sheet or just the schedule of events, isn’t it amazing how long some people will spend with their noses buried in something so mundane? Do you honestly think The New Guy is SO immersed in that engaging, one page schedule of upcoming events that they’ve actually been re-reading it over and over for the past 12 minutes?
Or is it possible they’re staring blankly at the piece of paper thinking to themselves: okay the meeting should start pretty soon so if I just sit here and look like I’m completely involved with this stupid agenda nobody will come up and bother me and then I can eat my salad and get the heck out of here before anyone realizes I’m The New Guy.
Other common involvement shields are:
- ? Cell phones
- ? Promotional tables with information/giveaways
- ? Snack/buffet table
- ? Signage on the wall
- ? Centerpieces
Another behavior you'll notice is that New Guys don’t often arrive with another member; although that is one effective technique for acclimating into the group. So because they’re usually on their own, it’s not uncommon for them to sit by themselves. Of course, don’t assume that someone who sits by themselves is new – their tablemate or friend may be in the bathroom or walking around the room somewhere.
Here’s a great tip: every meeting you attend, take a few minutes to look over the room. Find out who’s sitting alone. Take note of the seats on either side of the person to see if they’re taken. If it appears there’s room for one more, politely ask to join them. Most likely they’ll be thrilled you stepped onto their front porch and inform you about their association with the group.Inconsistent clothing is another telltale sign that someone is new to the organization. If you belong to a group that maintains a causal and comfortable dress code and someone you’ve never seen before walks in with a three piece suit, you can bet he’s The New Guy. (Or the speaker!)
Also look for inconsistency in the nametags. Nametags are easy indicators of the level of someone’s involvement in a group. Depending on the organization, most board members, staff and veterans will have slightly different nametags than The New Guys. Some New Guys might not even have nametags!
Lastly, one of the toughest parts about being The New Guy is confusion about when to show up. You can look at the meeting time on the website, in the brochure or on the bulletin, but unless you’ve been there in the past, you won’t have the insider information on when most people arrive.So if you get to the meeting and see someone who’s obviously been there for at least 15 minutes prior to your arrival, they’re probably new. Also, if during the program, a meeting, service or speech you observe someone sneak in the back of the room unnoticed by most of the audience – they’re also probably new.
It’s tough being The New Guy. It’s uncomfortable; you don’t know anyone and you stand out like a sore thumb. But we’ve all been there before. So past experiences motivate us to take it upon ourselves to become greeters and extend hospitality to those who need it most.
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